allonlinenovel Chapter 1009 How should he answer?
Chapter 1009 How should he answer?
Li Shouren carefully lifted Xiao Juan onto the creaking cart and placed her next to a relatively clean and flat bag of rice.
Xiao Juan's small body was curled up, her hands tightly gripping the edge of the cart.
Her gaze, like that of a startled fawn, was almost constantly fixed on her father Li Shouren's tired and hunched back, as if he were the only piece of driftwood she could rely on in this chaotic and desperate world.
However, every now and then, she would suddenly and very quickly turn around to look, her big eyes filled with fear, as if afraid that the soldiers in khaki uniforms with ferocious faces would suddenly rush out from behind the ruins like ghosts and snatch her away from her father again.
Every time she turned around, her body would involuntarily tremble.
The cart wasn't very heavy; ten bags of rice plus canned goods weighed only a little over 100 jin (50 kg).
But Li Shouren had fed all the food he found over the past few days to the children he had rescued. He himself hadn't eaten for a long time and was very weak. The wheels of his car were jolting violently on the road, which was covered with broken bricks, stones, and frozen ruts.
Li Shouren gritted his teeth, bent over, and pressed his entire weight onto the handlebars, moving forward step by step with great difficulty.
His steps were unsteady, stumbling forward more like a survival instinct than a true walking act.
His mind was in chaos. The huge shock of finding his daughter had not yet subsided, the humiliation of exchanging his pocket watch for grain was like a venomous snake gnawing at his heart, and the endless worry about the whereabouts of his wife Xiu'e was like a boulder pressing on his chest, making it hard for him to breathe.
It was almost curfew time, and there wasn't a soul in sight on the road. The creaking of the carts and the screeching of the wheels crushing the gravel were the only rhythms in this desolate wasteland.
After a long silence, Xiao Juan, sitting on the cart, suddenly spoke in an extremely weak, trembling, and uncertain voice, timidly asking, "Father...where is Mother? Where is Mother? Why isn't she with Father?"
This question, like a red-hot dagger, precisely pierced the softest, most bleeding part of Li Shouren's heart!
His body stiffened abruptly, his pushing motion stopped instantly, and an indescribable pain swept through his entire body, almost causing him to collapse.
Xiu'e... His Xiu'e... The chaos, screams, and flames of the day the city fell, Xiu'e's resolute gaze and desperate cries as she left... These images, which he had forcibly suppressed deep within his memory, suddenly surged into his mind.
The watch that Xiu'e had instructed him to keep safe had now changed hands, replaced by the pocket watch containing the grain on the cart—Xiu'e's last memento for him.
The pocket watch is gone... The home is gone... The shop is gone... His wife's fate is unknown, leaving only his daughter, whom he found again, and the dozen or so children he rescued...
How should he answer?
Tell Xiaojuan that her mother is likely no longer alive, or her whereabouts are unknown, and the chances of her survival are slim.
He couldn't imagine the secondary harm that would cause to Xiao Juan.
In the midst of immense grief and despair, a father's instinct to protect his child led him, almost subconsciously, to tell a lie in a tone that even he himself found fake and deliberately calm.
"Little Juan, be good." He stopped, panting, turned around, and forced a smile that looked worse than a grimace onto his dirty face. He reached out and gently touched Little Juan's cold, dusty little face. "Mommy... Mommy is waiting for us at home."
She's fine, it's just... she has some difficulty walking and is resting somewhere else.
"Once Daddy's settled in, I'll take you to see Mommy, okay?" He stammered, his eyes darting around, not daring to look directly into his daughter's clear eyes, which were filled with doubt and expectation.
The lie was so fragile that even he himself couldn't believe it, but at this moment he could only use it to build a thin barrier to temporarily resist the cruel reality that was about to devour his child.
Xiao Juan looked up at her father's unusual expression, seemingly somewhat doubtful, but the words "Mom is waiting at home" were like a weak shot of adrenaline, restoring a faint glimmer of light to her pale face.
She gave a soft "hmm" and didn't ask any more questions. She just gripped the edge of the cart tighter and shrank her small body behind the rice bag, as if that would make her a little safer.
This journey home felt exceptionally long and arduous.
He encountered several military police patrols on the road, and each time they stopped and questioned Li Shouren because it was almost curfew time.
Each time he was stopped, Li Shouren was terrified, and Xiao Juan on the cart shrank back in fear.
Fortunately, when I left the military police station, the military police sergeant gave me a temporary pass.
After Li Shouren showed the note to the patrolling military police, they were all allowed to pass.
Li Shouren not only had to contend with physical exhaustion and the hardships of the road, but also with the turbulent pain and fear churning within his heart.
When the half-collapsed courtyard finally came into view, Li Shouren was almost exhausted.
Widow Sun leaned anxiously against the rickety door frame, craning her neck to look outside.
When she saw that Li Shouren had not only returned alive, but was also pushing a cart loaded with grain, she stared in astonishment, her mouth agape, almost unable to believe it.
But when her gaze fell on the thin girl on the cart, a hint of doubt flashed across her face, as if Li Shouren had picked up another poor child.
However, when Li Shouren, in a hoarse voice, managed to utter, "Sister Sun, it's...it's Xiao Juan, I've found Xiao Juan," Widow Sun trembled!
"Xiao Juan?!" Widow Sun exclaimed in shock, her voice trembling.
She rushed forward and scooped Xiao Juan, who was curled up beside the rice bag, into her arms. Tears welled up instantly: "Xiao Juan! It really is you! You're back! Thank goodness you're back! God, you've finally opened your eyes!"
"You have no idea how frantic your father has been looking for you these past few days! He's turned Nanjing upside down!" She cried as she spoke incoherently, her rough hands stroking Xiao Juan's back repeatedly, as if trying to make sure this wasn't a dream.
Xiao Juan was held tightly by this strange but kind woman, and she was a little at a loss, her body stiff.
She raised her tear-filled face and looked at her father again, asking timidly, "Dad... who is this aunt? Where's Mom? Isn't Mom waiting for us at home?"
Li Shouren's face turned deathly pale instantly, his lips trembled, and Widow Sun was also stunned, looking at Li Shouren in confusion.
Li Shouren avoided her gaze, took a deep breath, and once again soothed her in that dry, weak voice, "Xiao Juan, this is Aunt Sun, she's... she's a good person who helps Dad take care of you."
"Your mother...she...she'll be back in a couple of days, once the roads get a bit better..." He repeated this pale lie, his voice growing softer and softer, almost as if he were talking to himself.